I fear the lack of them.
I have been unfaithful, and now I am in love with another. It is strange how quickly the bond formed, and just like all new love, I was ill prepared for the shock of it. I didn't plan this. No one ever plans this. Now, I am sitting here at my desk dreaming of going home to that smooth caress. I feel like a school girl, giddy and unsure. My new love is better, faster and sleeker. Some might say handsome. To me the beauty is inconstant and fleeting. I much prefer what is inside to the shell outside. But that's just me. It was the same way with every one I have ever had before. And when this love is worn and old, when it no longer responds in the same way, I know I will be drawn to the new again, forsaking the old loyalties in favor of what seems shiny and new. This love is fickle, but then I can be as well. Right now, the very newness has me doe-eyed with admiration. I am in love.
I just bought a new laptop. It is so much faster and newer than anything I have had in a long time. My old laptop was a trusty companion, but as all old laptops tend to do, he left me high and dry when one day he refused to power on, taking a large chunk of work with him. The bastard. So, I, Dawn the Technologically Challenged, found myself embarking on a journey to find a new computer.
I had no idea what I needed, so I started doing all sorts of research on line to determine what I really did need. I read reviews, but they seemed to scare me more than help. I even asked the salesmen at one local computer store. Imagine my surprise when they tried to steer me away from the affordable model I was looking at and into something more than twice my price range. They told me that the less expensive computers don't actually compute, and if you wanted to do any kind of gaming or programming, they would not work. Apparently the cheaper models are good as very expensive paperweights. They couldn't understand why anyone would want one of those.
I am not a gamer, and the thought of me programming anything should send shivers down your spine, or at the very least make the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Breathe a sigh of relief kiddos, that I have never attempted to program a thing. I imagine myself as a mad scientist screaming "Live! Live!!" at the top of my lungs as my program powers on, a tesla coil inexplicably in the background. My creature would probably cause more havoc than Frakenstein's monster. I also can't really get into the RPGs that many can't live without. I don't know why, but my own imaginings tend more toward the literary and the cinematic. I can't really get into World of Warcraft or anything like it. It looks like a lark, but it's not really for me. I would be the character stuck in the corner because I couldn't figure out that Alt Ctrl Shift F7 Backspace is the secret command code to spin around. All in all it doesn't make for a good time.
So I left the computer store with my money and decided to go to a Big Electronics Giant. The only things I normally buy from these super stores are DVDs. But the other day, I waltzed right on into the superstore and walked out with a reasonably priced laptop that was on sale.
My new toy is red and shiny. It has a big bright screen with better definition than our TV. It has a dual core processer, 3GB RAM, Superdrive that writes DVDs as well as CDs, 160 GB hard drive, Wireless, memory card reader, 3 usb ports, and came pre-installed with MS Office a ton of "Dawn Friendly" games (Solitare, Minesweeper, Chuzzle, Bejeweled, MahJong), and has a built in webcam.
I spent the first evening navigating the unfamiliar waters of Windows Vista (someone please enlighten me about why Vista is such a big freaking deal? I can't seem to figure out why it is so "superior" or even "inferior" depending on who you talk to... It just seems like windows to my untrained eye...) I installed my photoshop, Mozilla, and iTunes. Then I started playing Chuzzle and MahJong. I fell asleep on the couch.
Sunday I played with my new photoshop (fun as hell), then played more Chuzzle and MahJong.
Last night, I surfed the web, tried playing minesweeper until I blew myself to bits, then played more MahJong. I fell asleep trying to defeat Dragon.
It seems to me that I could have spent a lot less for a box of MahJong tiles and gotten just as much satisfaction. I have no idea what draws me into games like that, but inevitably I am drawn in and before I know it, midnight has arrived, and I am leaning on the couch, a line of drool starting to form on my chin, my finger resting on the click pad, my computer beeping at me for trying to make an illegal move. Maybe I should move on to ChessMaster... It might take a bit more intellect and might keep me from sleeping in the upright position with my chin on my chest. At least I haven't started in on solitare. Computer solitare is one of my weaknesses. I can't help it. I get bored, and start up the computer, and there it is, calling to me. I can start out with the best intentions, and end up spending hours being completely non-productive, except that I have great solitare statistics.
At least I did before my old computer died. Maybe now is the chance to start anew. I can beat this terrible addiction. I can sit down and write and get things done. I can put together my web site and perfect my photoshop technique. I can adjust my playlists on iTunes once and for all. I can do it if I just try. I know I can. And I will.
Just as soon as I beat Dragon on MahJong.